I can't say quite when it happened or exactly what happened, but lately I feel like I finally found that place of peace that had eluded me until now. Oh, I still commute to work everyday, still have a mortgage and bills to pay, still not enough hours in the day to do everything. But I think that is the point. How fortunate that I have enough abundance in my life to own a home and have bills to pay. And isn't it great that my life is so busy and full that I fall into bed tired but feeling like I accomplished something?
How often have you heard the phrase "just be yourself?" Have you ever thought about what that really means? I had occasion to do just that this evening after a long talk with my "wiser than his years" son.
I was feeling a bit down this evening- maybe it was because it is supposed to be summer and it was raining like a winter day today, or maybe because I feel like I am not in sync with what my heart is telling me about a couple of situations in my life. At any rate, after the long chat with my son I had I long chat with myself - in front of the mirror!
I live in a part of the world that does not see as much sun as most of us who live here would like. In fact, we have just come through about three weeks of nothing but rain, clouds and cooler than usual temperatures. To say this has not affected how many of us are feeling would be an understatement, given that in just over a week it will be the summer solstice when the day is at its longest.
There is a great quote by Marianne Williamson that goes "Our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our biggest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure..." There's more to this quote, but the idea is that somehow we lost the ability to shine our light. And her message is, we are not doing anyone any favors when we hide our light- not ourselves and not those around us.
So why then is it so difficult for us to feel comfortable in our brilliance, why are we afraid of our power, our magnificence and our wisdom.
Last week end I attended the local Fingerling Festival. This is where the salmon hatchery does a release of hundreds of salmon fingerlings into the inlet which feeds into the ocean. I felt very honored to take part in releasing some of these very small creatures, many of whom may not have made it past the herons that sit and feed on the shore of the inlet.
Tomorrow is graduation day from my 200 hour Yoga Alliance Teacher training. I am feeling very tired and will be glad to have my week-ends back. But I loved every minute of the program and what I learned.
When I say finding passion, I am not referring to the romantic kind. I am referring to that which makes your heart sing. Although I do think the two are connected.
Tapas is a niyama that refers to discipline, austerity, and patience. It is the refining of the actions of our bodies, mind and speech that allows the ability to gain awareness as soon as we notice a distracting impulse.
Aparigraha is one of the 5 yamas of Patanjali, which can be described as ethical rules within yoga. Aparigraha means greedlessness or non grasping and limiting possessions to what is necessary. I chose this Yama as the topic of my essay for yoga teacher training and I did so because I want to confront the "wanting" I have in my life.
To be vulnerable requires trust, not just in others, but in ourselves. It is said that true intimacy can not happen without vulnerability, yet our vulnerableness is often something we guard the most.
Being vulnerable requires one to first be honest with themself and then to be able to voice what we are feeling to another. It requires courage- we may not get the reponse we want or may not get a response at all.